setting boundaries

A busy schedule makes one prone to a lot of things – stress, sleep deprivation, a suffering social life.  A busy schedule can also lead to what I call overflow, when one project takes up too much time and cascades into the time allotted for another project.  The worst thing about overflow is that it often leads only to more overflow, sometimes rendering entire days of packed schedules unproductive.

I like to think that I know myself well enough to be able to predict which projects will take me longer than usual.  Most of the time I can tell in advance when I will have to work late, when a paper will need extra care, or when I’ll get hung up chatting with friends.  But, no one can be entirely omniscient about these kinds of things.  Occasionally (and hopefully infrequently), overflow happens, and when it happens to me, I erupt like a stress-filled volcano.

When I started to monitor and combat my stress levels as part of my New Years Resolution for 2012, overflow had basically taken over my life.  I was working late at all three of my jobs every week, cutting back on sleep, and experiencing anxiousness like never before.  While I still deal with overflow (like tonight in fact), I have been practicing a great little technique that has greatly diminished the impact it has on my day-to-day schedule – boundary setting.

Boundary setting is exactly what it sounds like; you draw lines and stick by them even when you might feel obliged to do otherwise.  For instance, though I feel like I should work late most nights (because I typically have a ton of work to do), I have set a boundary for myself.  I recognize that for my own personal well-being I need to get to bed at a reasonable hour, and so I have resolved myself to leave work on time.  The whole concept is a lot like the saying, “Leave work at work,” except for me it is just, “Leave work.” 

While there are times when overflow is necessary (like when deadlines must be met), a lot of the time it is avoidable.  Just be conscious, be forward thinking, draw lines for your schedule.  Just changing the way you think about overflow can help you begin to combat it.  Saying to yourself, “Tonight I am going to work on this paper for two hours, so I will end this texting conversation with my friend for now,” can really keep you and your schedule on track.

This week try to think of a boundary as little space in your schedule you have carved out for something specific, and don’t let anything interfere with that task.  Remember, being able to stick to your schedule can do away with tons of excess stress.  Click here for your two minutes of procrastination.

money vs. stress

I’ve been on a quest, as you may already know, to de-stress my very stressful life these past few months.  It’s no wonder really that I stumbled across an article in the Huffington Post this morning about the eight most stressful and unhealthy jobs.  Once I got over the shock that full-time student was not on the list, I thought long and hard about the implications of such a list.

It seems since the recession most college student have only one question when it comes to choosing a career path:  what job will pay me the most money right out of college?  I get it – we all have to pay the bills.  What bothers me however, is the fact that so many millennials are overlooking other factors that should be considered here, too.  If you are going to spend eight hours a day doing something, it should be something that you love  (or at least something you don’t hate!) to do.  A job where you are miserable might pay a lot, but doesn’t being miserable negate now much you earn?

I recognize that this issue is a matter of opinion.  As I attempt to cut all of the unnecessary stress out of my life however, I am becoming more fervent in my belief that the things that stress us out are just not worth our time.  Why be unhappy or anxious or tired when you could be happy, excited, and passionate about the work that you do?  Sure it might take a little longer to find a job that fits this bill, but doesn’t all that extra work pay off when you can enjoy those eight-hour work days.  Take it from someone who loves their job(s), it’s a lot easier to get out of bed in the morning when you do not dread the place you are going.

So who are these eight most stressed-out professionals?  According to recent studies cited in the Huffington Post they include investment bankers, soldiers, and shift workers.  Check out the full article by clicking here, and click here for your two minutes of procrastination.

the stress-free diet

If there is one thing I learned from doing yoga, it is that everything in the body is connected.  You can do a side-body stretch and find yourself able to breathe deeper.  You can do a power lunge to strengthen your legs and core, and end up loosening up your shoulders.  You can work out your body and end up with a clearer mind. 

Sometimes when we approach a problem we do so with blinders.  We can focus so much on what we think the causes of that problem are that we pass off (sometimes unconsciously) possible solutions.  We forget that many things are interconnected.  We put ourselves in a box unable to think outside of it.

Most people regard stress as a state of mind.  I’m inclined to agree with this to some degree.  There are aspects of stress, however, that are concretely physical.  Take, for instance, the way your heart races when you are anxious or nervous.  This is a very physical response to stress.  Attempting to change your state-of-mind when you are stressed is productive, but why not also try to counteract the physical symptoms of what you are feeling. 

Research has shown that one of the best ways to attack these physical symptoms is by changing your diet.  Certain foods, like simple carbs (sugary snacks and drinks) can give bursts of energy followed by crashes, a combination that can exacerbate stress symptoms like high blood pressure.  Conversely, other foods can help you combat stress, like complex carbs such as whole wheats and nuts.  These carbs increase your brain’s serotonin production, which quells anxiety and evens mood.  Researchers have also found that oranges (which have lots of vitamin C for a healthy immune system), spinach (which contains magnesium that can help stave off fatigue), and black tea (which has low levels of caffeine that reduce cortisol production without the crash brought about by coffee or sodas) are good anti-stress foods.  Doctors also suggest an overall healthy diet is a pro-active way to fight stress symptoms.

I’m not a believer in diets.  I think the only way to be healthier (and lose weight, if that’s what you are going for) is to make a lifestyle change.  This week think about living a less stressful life by making changes to your daily routine.  Do some breathing exercises, go for a run (physical activity has also been shown to be a good outlet for stress), and eat healthier.  You’ll feel better, I promise.

 Click here for a two minutes of Valentine’s Day procratination.

being a silo and the self help book debate

Sometimes people make the assumption that because I write this blog, I must consider myself a scheduling pro.  I guess, if I am going to be completely  honest, these assumptions are not entirely false.  Yeah, I consider myself better at scheduling than your average Joe, but I wouldn’t say I’m an expert in any real sense of the word.  I tell these people, the ones that assume I must be some sort of Ph.D in scheduling to be keeping a blog like this, that I simply blog about the techniques I’ve tried, what’s worked for me, and my trials (including failures) in the art of time management.

All that being said, I want to post tonight with a bit of a different tone.  Tonight I don’t have any suggestions, new techniques to try, or stories to tell.  Tonight, rather, I have a question.  It’s an age-old one, by which I mean one that came about in the 1990′s.  Self-help books – how useful are they.  Already I can feel some of you judging me.  “Only losers need self-help books,”  you’re thinking.  “But,” I have to response, “then why are they so popular?”

Sure, I’m not the type to buy a book about relationship advice.  I’m probably not the type to buy a cook book either, but my point is this:  when does being independent lead to becoming a silo?  When does figuring things out for oneself turn into building up a fortress and closing oneself off to helpful advice?  It’s a fine line, or at least I think it can be.  Sometimes we’re so used to being self-sufficient that we become skeptical of others and their advice, when we could really benefit from it.

I’m not advocating running out to the nearest bookstore to buy Stress Management for Dummies.  I’m not even suggesting reading this blog every week (though, I’d love it if you did).  What I am suggesting here is being a little more open-minded about advice.  After all, thinking we know everything is the most immature and naive kind of thinking.  Perhaps, someone should tell self-help book authors that.

Click here, here,  and here for your two minutes of procrastination.